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I never cease to marvel at the human brain – how some memory from the past suddenly comes to the surface. Where is this stuff stored – and what causes it to re-appear? One cannot purposely cause these things to show up, so how does this happen?

One  of these memories came back to me concerning an event that occurred while I was teaching at Ravenna High School.

I had a small office just to the left of the regular classroom/lab. It was at an angle to the main room and the students could not see in while seated at their desks, so I seldom closed the door. I informed  them that I had an assistant in there whose name was Igor, and he was  large, ugly, and rather violent. During my lectures I would sometimes look over to my left at the open office door and pretend to converse with Igor, asking his opinion concerning one of my statements, or what he thought of some answer or comment from a student.The students played along and we had fun with it. 

As a result Igor became quite a famous celebrity throughout the science department.

Those of you who are familiar with the Frankenstein movies will remember that Dr. Frankenstein had an assistant called Igor. He was large, ugly, and talked with a growl because his neck had been previously broken by a botched hanging. This didn’t kill him but broke his neck, which grew back crooked. It also affected his voice, his gait, and mangled him into a grotesque-looking monster. 

IGOR from “Frankenstein”

So I borrowed Igor as my virtual lab assistant.

Each year on Halloween the school had  “dress-up day”. A student could wear a costume to class if the classroom teacher would permit. I was OK with it and the students had some fun, but needless to say not much serious learning occurred on that day. 

Curt, one of my students, informed me that he had a gorilla suit and asked me if it was OK to wear it to class on dress-up day. This gave me an idea. I asked Curt if he would like to be Igor. If so, he could put on his gorilla suit, hide in the small office before the other students arrived, and I would call him out at an appropriate time. He liked the idea and agreed to do this.

The class showed up on Halloween with students dressed as witches, goblins, ghosts and various other costumes. The place looked like the Star Wars bar – I didn’t know whether to laugh or go home.

One guy was dressed as a cowboy and was continually playing with his guns. I became annoyed and scolded him. He would quit for awhile, but then resume twirling his guns and practicing his “quickdraw”.

I looked over toward the open door of my  office where Curt was hiding and said, ”Igor, come out here and take care of this guy”.

Out stumbled Curt in his gorilla suit, roaring loudly. He chased the startled “cowboy“ around the classroom, out the door, and up and down the hallway. The other students roared with laughter!

As I stated previously, not much learning occurred on dress-up day, but now Igor was famous around the entire school.

I will concentrate my remarks on Tesla since I own one and am familiar with it.

I find  the Tesla to be somewhat like an Apple product in that it is simple in appearance and its many features are often well-hidden. This gives the product an elegant and non-cluttered look but sometimes tries the patience of the user who doesn’t know a feature exists or how it operates because it doesn’t show. A quick way to find what is available is to search “Tesla” on  uTube. Chances are that someone has posted something about each feature and it will be explained there in great detail.

Most modern cars are controlled by a myriad of small dedicated computers (chips) built by different companies. Each one does a special task like controlling the brakes or the air-gas mixture, but for the most part they use separate software or firmware and are not compatible – which means that they can’t talk to each other. The difference with a Tesla is that one big computer with one big piece of software controls everything, and this software can be updated over wifi while the car sits in your garage. This takes care of many (or most) problems without having to take the car in for repair or recall.

After 4 years my Tesla has never been in a repair shop or service center. A software update becomes available almost every 2 or 3 weeks ( It always asks for permission before installing). Sometimes new features are added, others are mainly minor bug fixes. Because of these updates the car now is tighter, more responsive, and has more features and less glitches than when first purchased.

I recall one instance where the little thingys that read the air pressure in the tires quit working. I emailed the service center and asked for an appointment to come in and have them replaced. They looked at the problem remotely, then told me that there was nothing wrong with the hardware and they could fix the problem with a software update, which they did.

No trip to the shop – no charge!

The car is surrounded with cameras – at least eight. They show the cars and other objects around it and either put a video or a graphic on the dashboard screen. Different cameras turn on at different times depending on the circumstances. For example, engaging the left turn signal enables the cameras on the left side of the car to show a video of the left lane on the dash which allows the driver to see if the lane is clear.

One feature I really like is called “Sentry Mode“. When the car is left in the parking lot and motion is detected the cameras take a video of the surrounding area and store it on a thumb drive. This can be played back on the car’s dashboard screen. The feature also engages if one is unfortunate enough to have an accident.

So if someone runs into my car or keys it, they had better be smiling because they _will_ be on Candid Camera!

Some of the controls are software buttons on the dash screen. These can be somewhat difficult to locate and use while driving because you can’t feel them and need to be looking at them and away from the road. However most of the settings need to be made only once and can be done beforehand.

Also, almost all actions can be carried out with a voice command using everyday English. For example, click the right scroll button on the steering wheel and say:

“ Open glove box” , or
“Turn on front defroster” , “Turn on backup camera”, “turn on AC”,   or

“Increase heat” ,   “Set cabin temperature to 65 degrees”,

“Check tire pressure” , “Turn on driver’s seat heater”,   or even,

“My ass is cold”.

For music while driving say:

“Play ‘When will I be loved’ by Linda Ronstadt”, or

“Play ‘Beethoven’s 7th Symphony’ “, or

“Play ‘Up Against The Wall Redneck Mothers’ by Jerry Jeff Walker” ,

or whatever – the system will usually find it out there somewhere.

The voice translator is quite accurate and it is pretty difficult to give a reasonable command that is not understood. If it is not, the dash tablet will so state.

Several months ago I was at a family get- together and two of my grandsons used my Tesla to run some errands. I gave them an RFID card to use as
ignition key and kept my iPhone. I was surprised to see the location of the car, including street names, numbers, and speed continually showing up on the phone. I could use the phone control to flash the lights, open windows, open trunk, and blow the horn (I didn’t!). I don’t know if I could have shut it down, but I’m thinking this feature may make it more difficult for a thief to steal my car and get away. It may also scare the bejesus out of him if the horn started blowing or the windows suddenly opened.

One feature that I find most valuable is called “Autopilot” (I prefer to call it “Autosteer”). It will steer the car and keep it in it’s lane on the freeway and also keep it a set distance from the car in front. It requires the driver’s hand continuously applies  some resistance to the steering wheel. Using this app for freeway driving allows me to arrive at my destination much more rested than usual.

This feature is somewhat controversial – the reason appears to be because it is not really fully automatic as the name might imply. It is only for use on freeways and will blow through stop signs, red lights, and past the intended exit as will any cruise control, thus the driver needs to stay awake. Pressure on the steering wheel is required at all times as a check on the driver’s alertness. The controversy over the feature is further heightened by the fact that  some “geniuses” try to defeat the safety feature by hanging bricks etc. on the steering wheel, and then hopping into the back seat! I think these guys are good candidates for the “Darwin Award”.

I have heard that some models are now using the inside camera to make sure the driver is awake and his eyes are open. The “geniuses” will probably try to defeat this by painting eyeballs on their eyelids.

If you really want to kill yourself, this car will let you do it.

There are tons of other features, some of varied and questionable usefulness such as those in a folder called “The Toy-box”. There one will find computer games to entertain a person or family while charging-or any time the car is not moving, auto race games that use the car’s steering wheel and pedals to drive the race cars, “Dog Mode” to keep your pet cool while you are shopping, a PA system to use for annoying the neighbors …and…

“Emission Control”, an app that will cause a selected  seat to fart in order to embarrass an unsuspecting passenger, with…ahh……5 different tones!  (I’ll bet some young programmer really had a ball with this one!)

– the list keeps growing.

Many people will find these apps useful, fascinating, fun, and “State of the Art”. Others, stupid and a waste of time and money.

But nobody will find them boring!

 

 

 

The  Toyota Prius I had been driving for 10 years was  well designed, roomy, fun to drive, and economical to run, but I decided I needed an upgrade. I offered it to my son who was driving a 2001 Mazda with 250000 miles and  mainly held together with baling wire and duct tape. He was more than happy to take the Prius, so I put on a new set of tires, new brakes, oil change, and arranged to pass it on to him.

Now to find a replacement. I first looked into plug-in hybrids which were starting to be pushed by the dealers. These were hybrid cars that could be plugged into the grid, charged at night and driven 50 miles or so exclusively on electricity before the batteries ran down and the computer would start the gas engine and the car ran in hybrid mode. I reasoned that If you drove less than 50 miles per day you would never need to buy gas. There were several attractive models available from the big car manufacturers.

Now my thinking took a turn: If I am going to go this route why do I need two complete separate parallel systems, gas and electric, with all of those extra parts, when one system alone will do the job? The more I thought about it, the less sense it made.

I decided to go purely electric, which was the more efficient and cleaner of the two systems. However it was also newer technology, less tested, less range, and somewhat more expensive. I would also not have the choices or support offered by the traditional car companies since they were just barely starting to move on this technology, and if I wanted to buy an electric car  and have it delivered in my lifetime I had basically one choice – Tesla.

It was August of 2019 when I decided to place my order, so I logged onto Tesla.com. The website showed 3 different models available: the Model S – a luxury sedan, the Model X – a luxury SUV with gull wing rear doors, and the Model 3 sport sedan. There was also a Model Y on the drawing board – an SUV that looked attractive but wouldn’t be ready for at least another year.

I picked the Model 3 as I was sure it would be more than adequate for my needs. For this model there was a choice of 5 colors, regular or long-range, rear wheel or all wheel drive, several different wheel configurations, black or white interior colors, with standard model, performance package, and full self driving software.

After driving the standard model at Eastlake and since I normally don’t drag race I didn’t think I needed any further performance enhancements. The self-driving software was mostly undeveloped vaporware and added $8000 to the cost so I decided I didn’t need it and could add it later if I changed my mind. (It now costs $15000!). Besides, I just couldn’t see myself feeling comfortable playing games or having dinner while my car was tooling down the freeway at 75mph with me in it. The self-driving package included a feature that would allow you to use an iPhone to “summon” your car from its parking spot and pick you up at the door. I’m sure that would impress my buddies at the Fitworks gym, but then I thought I could find other less expensive ways of showing off. Also it may not impress the police to see a car roaming around the parking lot with no apparent driver.

I ended up ordering the Model 3, midnight silver metallic (fancy name for dark grey), long range, dual motor all wheel drive, with black interior and 18 inch aero wheels. I was not asking for a loan and didn’t have a trade-in so I ponied up the $200 and pushed the “buy” button.

I was informed that my Tesla would arrive in 6 to 8 weeks. No strain, no pain!

Now I had time to prepare a charging station in my garage. I installed a 240 volt 50amp breaker in the service box, ran the appropriate conduit and wiring to a place that would reach the parked car, and installed a 14-50 socket that would fit the car’s charging cable. Goodbye smelly gas stations!

This setup would charge the car at a rate of 30 mph. Thus over night I could load up 300 plus miles of juice – almost the limit of the car’s capacity, and have a “full tank” every morning. If I didn’t have 240v available I could charge the car from a regular outlet but it would only charge at a rate of 3 or 4 mph.

The present (2023) Tesla Superchargers out on the road  will do the same thing in one half hour or less. It’s not as fast as filling a gas tank but getting faster every day.

Two weeks later I received a text from Tesla stating that my car was at Eastlake and to come and pick it up – and by the way, be sure to bring your iPhone and the remainder of the money.

The lady at Eastlake Tesla gave me a half hour of instruction, paired my iPhone with the car’s bluetooth so it could be used as an ignition and door key, and installed the Tesla app on my iPhone that allowed it to control several features of the car.

There were also two credit card-sized RFID cards to use in case the phone became lost or discharged.

I had read wild tales about poor fitting doors, extra wide gaps, bad paint jobs, wrinkled upholstery, etc. due to Tesla being new to the car building business, their robots not yet precisely adjusted and their workers not well trained. After giving the car a thorough inspection I saw none of these problems so I signed off and was soon on my way home with my new toy.

                My Tesla Model 3

(Notice the orange spot below the headlight which is probably a radar camera)

 

Next: Electric Car – Features and Problems.

 

In the early 1900’s, well-to-do elderly ladies drove around American cities in small cars powered with electric motors and batteries.These cars were slow and expensive, and since electricity was not yet available in many places they were not always easy to charge. However they were clean, didn’t smell of gasoline or exhaust fumes, and didn’t backfire or make a lot of noise as did the gas powered cars of the time. Also, they didn’t need to be cranked to be started (starters had not yet been invented) and were very simple to operate since they didn’t need to be shifted.

.                                                Electric Car  circa. 1910