My mother was a writer and humorist among her many other achievements. (see the post “Edith Lang Roliff”) She believed that laughter was the best kind of medicine – especially if you can laugh at yourself.
As I was looking through Mom’s many papers and newspaper articles I found these notes. It appears that even when she wrote a note to excuse her children from school she just couldn’t resist adding a bit of humor. Here is a note she wrote to the school principal Oliver Payne to excuse my brother Mark for early release:
And here is a note she wrote in pidgin-german for the same purpose:
I believe the first note is valid since Mr. Payne initialed it. I’m not sure about the second one. Maybe he was just too tickled to sign it!
In case the scans of the originals are illegible, here is the text typed out.
English version:
May 31, 1962
Dear Mr. Payne,
Mark may leave school after tests if:
1- It does not take him longer than 15 minutes to pass the Goody Shop.
2- He turns to the left at corners 224 and 44, and halts at 4027 Waterloo.
3- He promises to wash the windows, gather the eggs, clean the house, mow the lawn, start the supper and in the meantime, stay out of mischief.
He has my permission to walk, run, ride, and fly home, if he keeps one foot on the ground at all times.
I hope that I thought of everything.
E. Roliff
————
Pidgin-German version:
May 31, 1962
Herr Payne,
Las das kleinen Mark from der tests home ge-kommin. Das grass ben needin der cutting and mowen to preventin das wildebeasts from der prey ge-stalkin. Das hamsters ben home ge-starvin mit groanen and squealin, and a fit ge-pitchen. Das breakfast dishes ist on der table ge-standin. Das garbage ist ge-spoilen and over ge-running. Der mutter ben thinkin das boy needs der salt ge-earning.
E. Roliff