I have often marveled at the way a kid’s mind works. Kids are so pure when they are young, and I find them really fascinating to observe – especially before they are old enough for the world to put a lot of noise into their heads.
When my oldest son Chris was 3 years old his inquisitive mind began to kick in and he asked questions that would just crack me up. I’m sure the other children did also but Chris was my first experience with a kid, so he is the one I most remember. Many of his questions I could not answer.
Here are a few examples of his questions:
“Dad, what’s God’s last name?”
On looking at a world map Chris asked: “Dad, where is heaven on that map?”
We had a world globe sitting on the bookshelf. I explained to Chris what it was. After a long pause in deep thought he asked, “Dad, do we have a globe of Ohio?”
One day Chris and I were riding around in the truck and we passed a site where there was a house jacked up ready to move to a new location. I explained to Chris what was happening and he asked, “Dad, how do they move the basement?” Now I had never thought about that so I didn’t have a ready answer. I am surprised he didn’t also ask about moving the well!
We had some beehives behind our house in Randolph, and sometimes I would take Chris along when I worked on these hives. Bees don’t like having their hives opened, so beekeepers use a tool called a smoker to apply smoke to the bees to help control them. Burning rags or grass are placed inside the smoker to produce the smoke, and the bellows are pumped occasionally to keep the fire going.
Smoker
One time I gave Chris the job of puffing the smoker so the fire wouldn’t go out. He was standing behind me.
“Should I puff it a lot, Dad?”. “Yes”, I replied…
“…Should I puff it 100 times?”.
I replied he could and then I became busy with something and forgot about him.
A bit later I heard him ask,
“…Dad, what comes after 56?”.
I turned around but I couldn’t see Chris. He was completely enveloped in a large cloud of smoke. He evidently got all the way to 56 puffs when his “counter” jammed and he couldn’t proceed.
Chris smoking the bees
One time I noticed that Chris’s fly was open so I said to him, “Chris, better close your barn doors or the horse might get out”.
Several days later he noticed that MY fly was open. He said, “Dad, better close your barn doors or the horses might get out”.
Horses?
My number 2 son Denny had a rather interesting way of learning the language. It was often “last in – first out”. This would often cause him to reverse parts of words. So, for example, instead of “cup” he would say “puc”, and “eleph-a-nut” for “elephant”. He once told me he didn’t like to go down into the basement because there were “spide webers” down there (spider webs).
Denny, Neil, Elaine, Chris
Denny, Neil, Chris, Gene c. 1963
Neil’s favorite hideout – under the TV
Then there was Pam, the verbal child. Before she was a year old she could speak very clearly, but she didn’t always know the meaning of the words. She knew when certain phrases were used because she noticed where we used them. At night we sometimes had trouble keeping her in bed because she wanted to come out to join the folks and watch TV, so we had to put her back in bed several times before she would stick. On several occasions this little sprite would come bouncing out of the bedroom hugging a blanket announcing,
“She’s up again!”.
Pam – 1 year old
Pam’s oldest son was just as verbal at the same young age with similar effects. “Joe” would stir the dirt in a flower pot and exclaim loudly, “Get out of that dirt!”. He once threw his spoon on the floor and loudly scolded, ”Why did you do that?”. He would climb up on the coffee table and exclaim over and over, “Get down from there!”
Joe
My son Dave told me about his son Ryan, who was 3 years old at the time, coming out of his bedroom completely naked except for a Darth Vader mask, and swinging a light saber.
Dave said to him, “Ryan, go back in there and put on some clothes.”
Ryan replied, “How did you know it was me?”
Ryan
There is a very special person inside a child’s body when he or she is young. Later when they grow older that person is gone. Forever.
Denny, Neil, Dave, Pam, Chris – Xmas 1965
When Dave was in his 30’s a friend of mine asked him if he and his siblings had everything they wanted as kids. He answered, “Yes, we had everything we wanted – our dad just made sure we didn’t want very much.”
Now if I could remember how I did that, I could write a book on kid-raising!
This same friend asked Dave how he got his sex education. Here’s how he answered:
One evening Dad asked me to help unload a truck load of bees. It had been a hot day in August and I was having 2-a-day football practices, so I was pretty well tapped out. We put on all of the usual protective gear – coveralls, veil, hat, gloves, etc. The temperature was 90 degrees and we were drenched with sweat. When we finished and were lying beside the truck trying to catch our breaths I said, “Dad, how did you ever get yourself into this mess?”
Dad replied,” I had 5 kids, that’s how. Keep your pants zipped up and stay in school or some day it may happen to you!”
I remember Dave helping me unload bees but I do not remember giving this valuable advice. Maybe God is merciful and causes us to forget certain things, thus protecting what little sanity we adults have left.
